Things Your
Parents Told You

 

- You learned that from your father/mother.

-You've pulled on that shirt so much it looks like a dress!

-You found a mud puddle didn't you?

-Simmer down!

-That coffee table was not made for you to rub your feet on.

-Now what are you going to do with it? [Usually said after you broke something or messed it up.]

-You need that like you need a hole in the head.

-Take your hat off in the house!

-Eat it or wear it!

-What's the matter with you anyway?

-How would you like write an essay on being kind to your brother/sister?

-Stop shaking your leg!

-Nobody asked you.

-If you don't pick that up, you might get to sleep with it.

-I'll nag you if I feel like it, you're my son/daughter.

-If I had wanted you to do that, I would have told you to.

-You've been playing with my pen, haven't you?

- I'm going to give you until the count of three.

-Don't pick, it'll get infected.

-I don't want to hear that again.

-Who do you think you are?

-Not another word out of you!

-What, you want more money?

-If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...

-When you don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble.

-Someday your face will freeze like that!

-What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?

-Look at me when I'm talking to you.

-You're going to put your eye out with that thing!

-Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?

-Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!

-How many times do I have to tell you...don't throw things in the house!

-Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!

-Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!

-Move it or loose it.

-Be good -- and don't do ANYTHING to embarrass your parents.

-No child of MINE would do something like that.

-You'll never live to see sixteen!!

-There's someone either dying or being created under your bed--look at all this dust!

-Eat your meat.

-Did you flush?

-I worry about you.

-Can you give me an itinerary for your trip?

-I hate having you drive alone at night.

-You don't WANT to clean your room? You don't have to Want to! 

-A man who plays when he should be working will never amount to much.

-There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!

-What would you do if I wasn't here?

-Work first, and then play.

-Somebody's gonna end up crying.   

-AFTER you pick up your room, make your bed, brush your teeth and comb your hair, THEN you can go out to play.

-Don't say SHUT UP!

-Close your mouth when you're eating -- you look like a cow!

-I don't care what "everyone" is doing, I care what YOU are doing!

-What will the neighbors think?

-Who do you think you are?

-When I was a little girl ...

-When I was a boy...

-Do I have to send you an engraved invitation? Sit down and eat!  

-Two wrongs do not make a right.

-Don't talk with your mouth full!

-I wish you kids could see videos of yourselves eating!

-How are things in your little life?

-Don't leave any crumbs on the counter!

-Do I embarrass you?

-If you slouch like that, you'll get a hump in your back.

-You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives.

-Sit like a lady!

-When are you going to take your bath?

-Do you want a time-out?

-I don't care if Jimmy's Mom said yes.

-Wipe your feet!!

-Go ask your father.

-What did your mother say?

-Wrong, there's plenty of things to do, like clean your room.

-Enough is enough!

-It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

-I'm tired of seeing you do that.

-Whose shoes are these!?

-I wasn't born yesterday.

-Eat over the table.

-You are being obnoxious.

-Nice shot, marbles.

-How many times do I have to tell you...

-When was the last time you took a shower?

-Slow down.

-Park yourself.

-You are going to clean this room up before you go to bed.

-That's enough.  You don't know what you're talking about.

- You certainly do amuse you.

-Wipe your feet!

-How many times do I have to tell you!? GET UP!

-You look like an Indian in piano covers paint.

-If God had intended you to wear pierced earrings, He would have made you with holes in your ears.

-Where did you hear that word?!

-Don't interrupt.

-Can I talk now?

-I've heard that excuse before.

-Oh, you think so do you?

-We paid good money for those shoes, you can stop working them over like that.

-Do you see that girl?  You are never going to marry a girl like that!

-Oh no you are not going to bring that in here!

-I thought I told you to pick this up!

-Don't tell me you didn't do it; nobody else could have.

-"I can't" never could do anything.

-You better quit while you're ahead.

-That looks terrible! Go change your clothes!

- I wish you'd...

-"I don't know" is NOT an answer.

-Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.

- If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?

-Beauty is as beauty does!

-What do you mean you aren't going to eat everything on your plate?

-Think of those poor starving children in India. [ To which Johnny answers, "Fine, send my spinach to them." ]

-You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?

-If bologna was a tin horn you'd have an orchestra!

-Money does NOT grow on trees.

-I'm not everyone else's parents and you're not everyone else!

-Five minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of trouble.

-You made your bed, now lie in it.

-This hurts me more than it hurts you.

-Don't make me tell you again.

-Stop your crying before I give you something to cry about.

-Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.

-I'm not Freddy's mom, I'm your mom and I care what happens to you.

-I'm not going to tell you how to spell that when you can look it up in the dictionary.

-Life isn't fair.

-Would you do that if the Queen were here?

-When I was young we had respect for our elders; now look at the world!

-Did you iron that?

-I don't THINK soo...!!

-Don't use that tone with me!

-Look it up in your contract: I'm the Mom, you're the kid. I get to do the nagging.

-What do you mean CARRY ME? I carried you for nine months!!

-I'm not here to entertain you.

-Am I talking to a brick wall?

-Eat those carrots, they're good for your eyesight. You never see rabbits wearing glasses, do you?

-You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.

-There's no shame in being poor, but there is shame in being dirty!   

-Speak up; I can't hear your head rattle.

-Never leave the house hungry.

-Eat the crust of your bread. It's good food.

-I resign!

-Who told you that?!

-Remember who you are.

-The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

-Act your age, but don't crawl.

-You just have big piano tools.

-But you have a beautiful complexion.

-What have I done to deserve such ungrateful children?

-You must get that from your father's side of the family.

-I would have never talked to MY mother like that!

-If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

-Fools' names and fools' faces often appear in public places.

[After seeing a little boy following his older brothers's example, my grandpa added,  "And the little squirts that don't know better follow the fools to the letter.]

-I hope someday you have children just like you.

-I'm going to have the last word!

-This, too, shall pass.

-I don't know why you turned out the way you have.

-Wear clean underwear in case you get in a car wreck and have to go to the hospital.

-If you'd open your eyes as wide as your mouth, you'd find what you're looking for.

-Pretty is as pretty does.

-I'm not just talking to hear my own voice.

-Shut your mouth and eat.

-Somebody's room needs some attention.

-How would you like to sleep with  those dirty socks?

-Daddy doesn't think your oatmeal is funny all over his shirt.

-Did grandma get you ice cream at Thrifty's again and spoil your supper?

-Go tell Daddy he wants you.

-Because I said so, that's why.

-If you don't quit that, you're going the eat at the kitchen counter by yourself.

-I wish you could see yourself doing that!

-How ya doin' there?  (Usually said after a small mishap at the table.)

-This is your last chance.

-Don't sneeze like that.  You'll blow your eardrums out.

-Chew your food.

-You know that isn't true.

NOTE: All new quotes added at top.

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graphics by mary vannattan