MOLESTED
Now What?
By Pastor Steve Van Nattan

YOU ASKED....

Dear Steve,

What a sorry experience you have had. I want you to understand something, just in case you are still dealing with it. God is NOT judging you for any of this. You must go forpiano coversd with Christ and your husband and claim victory and the Grace of Jesus Christ. It is often tempting, when evil is done to us, that we wonder if we somehow deserved it or caused it. NEVER believe that. It is the trick of too much thinking and not enough trusting in Jesus. You are washed in the Blood of Jesus Christ and clothed in His righteousness. Live that!

I have been highly impressed with your site. You have answered soooo many of my questions. It's been like the answer to my prayers. I do have a problem at this time and I am wondering if you could be of some help. I am a fairly new Christian, and I struggle with doing what's right. My mother and I have had a falling out. Her brother molested me for nine years and a friend of mine that I had told about this told my mother. She stated that I was mentally disturbed. You see my father and step-father did the same thing.

My father served time because she believed me but my step-father and my uncle did not. When she learned of this I realized that nothing would be done, so I decided not to put myself through any more torment and just kept quiet and we went on like family still. I eventually got married and went on a trip later with my uncles mother to my aunt's house. It was on this trip that I told her about her son.

Well it seemed as if everything would be taken care of. My grandmother and aunt said they believed me. When we got back home my aunt called to see what had been done about it and my grandmother told her that I lied and was a trouble maker. So my uncle weaseled his way out of it again.

After many years of putting on a happy face and going through this Norman Bates nightmare I became a Christian.  My family truly flipped and constantly berated my husband and me.  I finally felt that it was in the best interest to cut all ties with my family and wrote them all a letter telling them to no longer contact me. My aunt, who had always believed me, called me up to offer her support, even though she had gotten a letter too. I soon found out what family I could trust. She told me that she had just learned that three boys in the family had been molested by my uncle too.

Needless to say I now felt that no acknowledgement whatsoever would be enough. Especially after twenty years of denial by my family. These boys were my cousins and had never told ANYBODY until they learned what he had done to me. My problem is the fact that I feel that I should be trying to get my family saved. You see we belonged to the LDS church. ( Mormon ) They feel that they are right with God, but I know otherwise.

So I'm wondering if breaking all ties with them is wrong. They have been confronted with the three boys coming forpiano coversd and all they have to say is, " How come they never call? " or my grandmother said she planned on suing me. I really could use your help with this.

Thank you.


ANSWER:

Under the circumstances, you have NO business going near these perverts. Their soul is in the hands of God, and He can find someone to bring them the Gospel. They would only recall the lust they felt long ago if you went near them. They might very well pretend to be interested in the Gospel in order to try to seduce you again. My experience with Mormons tells me that you have NO chance to win them, considering the history. Again, if they are to be born again, your family needs someone OUTSIDE the loop to confront them with Christ.

Also, you are 100% to do what is pleasing for your husband, and he does not need to deal with all the stress of filthy old men playing tricks with both of you.  Furthermore; you may have children one day, and those same old filthy men will think they can do the same to your children.  NEVER be a part of your former family with your children present.  You need to understand that Mormon definitions of morality are stated in sweet tones, but they are practiced in vastly different ways depending on the Mormons involved.  Some Mormon bishops and leaders do NOT think it is necessary to protect non-Mormons from their most perverted members, contrary to their sweet words.  You may be dealing with demon possessed people. By the way, there are more and more Fundamental Baptist pastors who will not protect their people from such wickedness. At no time can we drop our guard in this sort of thing.

I am glad you have broken off all contact with them. You don't need to hate them or be bitter, but you must NOT ever feel you owe them one thing in this life. Pray for them, and leave it at that. Even if they repent and the thing is brought out in the open and seems to be dealt with, do NOT go around them. You would be a memorial of their evil works. This would also be very hard for you to deal with.

Straight ahead with Jesus and the good man God gave you.

Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press topiano coversd the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

God bless as you deal with hard things and seek His holy face through it all.

In Christ,

Steve Van Nattan