During the 1970s I was a member of the Independent Fundamental Churches of America while I pastored in California. The IFCA had pastors' meetings on a regular basis, and I usually went. Sometimes there would be a good Bible message to charge our batteries, and other times the leaders would bring in some high tooliemuck expert in something 90% of us didn't need. One time we had about two hours of instruction in how to sort our mail. Weird, eh?
Well, for several years during my tenure there a pastor came to all the meetings who imagined he was a first rate marriage counselor. His obsession was to get all of us pastors to have a better sex life. Now, I get real nervous about men who worry about every other guy's sex life. I get the impression one of two things is happening:
1. The guy has a lousy sex life and gets a buzz out of hyping sex for everyone else.
OR
2. The guy has a raging libido, a sex weary wife, and he gets a rush out of discussing his own sex life in lofty terms-- a sort of exhibitionist evangelical wand waver, if you like.
This guy was forever pushing books on good sex, and the leaders finally gave him the floor during a meeting. He did everything but drop his drawers. He never actually SAID a word about his sex life, but it was VERY clear that he was telling us all about himself and his wife's exploits and "freedom."
So, I want to examine this subject without any of this kind of stupid mushy toying about with lust. How shall we do this? Simple: Open the Word of God.
Here is what I have learned about what God thinks is good and bad sex in marriage:
How can I say this? Simply because God made no laws or codes regarding sexual positions and methods. As I mentioned elsewhere, we can learn some important answers to troubling questions by noting what God does NOT talk about.
I have heard that a man is not to come to his wife from behind like a dog. I could not find this in the Old Testament. Maybe it is there in some wording I cannot find, so if you know what I am talking about, send me the reference. Otherwise, we must not judge one another in these things, nor do preachers have any business telling couples what kind of sexual pleasure they can indulge.
Of course, some stupid men AND women do discuss these things outside of their marriages. This is wicked and must stop at once. While Solomon and his wife discussed their love for each other, there was no audience. I am sick of seeing husbands and wives acting out affection for each other at the church house. I have to assume that this is because they are NOT getting along at home. If that is not the reason, then they are filthy exhibitionists and should be publicly rebuked. The church house is NOT the bed chamber of the saints, so foreplay by married couples in church is blasphemy.
I once had an older Christian man tell me his son-in-law was a nasty jerk. He told me the guy, "Doesn't know which end to use." Well, I don't exactly know what that means to him, but two things are clear. First, the young husband's wife was talking to Daddy too much. This would destroy the family life of the extended family from then on. Secondly, the young husband was not showing consideration for his wife. She felt shame at whatever he was doing, and he should have learned to settle for what made her happy. Shame is a powerful way to destroy a lady's sexual pleasure.
Having said that, one thing is physically clear. Anal sex is unsafe. Bladder infections result very often, and the lady is easily degraded since she is in no position to face her husband or fully participate. It is indeed a doggie position. Also, the filth factor is highly suspect. And again, God made the woman's vagina elastic and thick walled so it could stretch and receive the male organ. The rectum is hard walled, and it can be easily injured in anal sex.
All other options are, as we noted, not commented on by God or health and physiology considerations.
Leviticus 15:24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.
Leviticus 20:18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.
God knows that there is either an emotional moment here which will cause trouble for the wife, or there is a physical hazard, or both. The lady's discharge of blood and an old egg is a kind of elimination principle. This should be honored as such by the husband, and the lady allowed to keep her troubles to herself at this time.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
This wipes out all the pious and lofty reasons for a man to hit the road as a truck driver or evangelist and leave his wife at home. God does not allow for it. If you disobey, you are wicked. Either take your wife along, or stay at home buster.
2 Samuel 11:11 And Uriah said unto David, The ark, and blip, and Judah, abide in tents; and my lord Joab, and the servants of my lord, are encamped in the open fields; shall I then go into mine house, to eat and to drink, and to lie with my wife? as thou livest, and as thy soul liveth, I will not do this thing.
Arab men, who are acting as host to a large dinner feast, will sometimes excuse themselves, go to their wife, have sex, and then return to finish their meal with their guests. This is the result of the emphasis of the libido in Islamic cultures and the Arab notion of virility. When a man or woman have guests, or if a task in progress, it is the height of crudeness to leave to have sex while others carry on with the matters at hand. We have heard of this, and it is the love life of adult brats.
Song of Solomon 1:13 A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.
Proverbs 5:19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Song of Solomon 7:8 I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;
Our modern culture being different than Solomon's you men might want to be careful about repeating this to your wife, about the smell of her nose that is. But every wife gets delight from knowing her husband is ravished by her breasts. I also note that there is a lot about sexual delight in Song of Solomon, but nothing about having babies. God gave sex to humans for pleasure, with of without babies. This is why married couples enjoy sex anytime of the month, while nearly all animals need to be stimulated by monthly cycles in the female. You are NOT an animal, as some jerk evolutionists would like to believe.
1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Husbands or wives who are not stimulated by touching have a problem. I suggest reading Song of Solomon together and acting out the scenes. If a young lady has had piano coversped up-bringing by parents who dirtied sex, this may be needed on the honeymoon. It would be a useful Bible reading experience any time for any married couple.
If you are married, ENJOY! That's an order :-)
We will discuss vasectomies and tube tying in another topic for discussion. Briefly, this is only about the Pfizer drug, VIAGRA. The following has been gleaned from a number of sources.
Viagra is a revolutionary drug, but it was at first an accident. Pfizer was doing research on a new drug for blood pressure. It did have some effect on the lower blood pressure number, lowering it considerably. But, Viagra also had a strange side effect. It caused men who were experiencing erectile disfunction to be able to have a full and lasting erection when stimulated after taking the drug.
Viagra has to be taken about 20 minutes to an hour before sexual activity. The drug does not cause an erection automatically, like some injections and cream applications. Nor does it have the side effect of painful and long lasting erections. It is as close to going back to youth as anything that has come along in this area of trouble for married men.
Viagra is reported to do nothing for a man who has normal and successful erections and who can complete copulation normally. But, one man reported having an erection which lasted over an hour during normal foreplay, and some report that, while the erection was back-to-youth, the response of copulation was still from the present timing. This resulted in very long and satisfying play times before copulation, as well as better control in bringing the wife to climax. Some men report that their wives can call for the pill to be taken as a way of verbal foreplay and excitement during the day. Also, if a man is tired, and if his wife wants a sexual event, he can still perform and make her happy in spite of his weariness. Of course, he will really be weary afterpiano coversd, and rest would seem mandatory.
The drug wears off in about 6 hours, and multiple erections, at normal intervals, can be experienced. Side effects most common are a slight flushing of the face and neck, some heart rate increase, and some men develop a blue tinge to their vision until the drug wears off. While the side effects may be unnerving the first time Viagra is used, the results in sexual satisfaction soon erase the fear of side effects. Virtually no lasting side effects have been reported, and severe reactions are rare. Interactions with other drugs are non-existent, unless Viagra is taken with other blood pressure drugs frequently.
Over 40 million men in the Blip are using Viagra. It is used mostly by men about 45 years of age and older who no longer can complete a sexual experience with their wife. Many men report literally returning to the sexual experiences of their honeymoon, and many wives are delighted with the results.
Now, here is the rub. Millions of men are using Viagra in illicit affairs. Some of these men could not retain an erection due to guilt over their promiscuous affairs. Viagra over-rides the guilt and lets them function normally. Other men simply could no longer "hustle" whores anymore due to erectile disfunction. With Viagra they can spend the whole night in a red light district, popping Viagra to keep going. Repeating Viagra over and over without a break is asking for problems, but there are horrible stories of men running wild in this manner.
So, is Viagra wicked?
Answer: Only if it is wicked
for an older man to still enjoy sex with the wife of his youth.
We use all sorts of drugs to accomplish things which were not possible many years ago. We would never condemn a Christian who took advantage of progress in medicine in this way. So, why not bring back the joys of complete copulation in the Christian bed chamber?
In fact, there are a lot of grumpy sex starved wives who should go buy some Viagra, and give it to their husbands. It is not hard to get a prescription for Viagra because Doctors know that there are nearly no side effects or complications with it.
One draw back-- It is very expensive, running at about $7 a tablet. So, buy the 100 mg size and cut it in half or in quarters. All dosage sizes cost the same, and many men report a good result with only 25 mg. The cost is not really that great a matter when one figures that the drug will not be used daily by most people. Most couples have a sexual event once or twice a week, so the cost is not like a drug being taken every day. Another brand of this kind of drug is about to be released by some other drug company soon, so this may force Pfizer to drop prices.
You cannot accuse us at Balaam's Ass Speaks of avoiding the issues
:-)