And it did NOT come to pass...

By Steve Van Nattan

This discussion came to me as a result of my growing burden over all the bad news which has not happened according to latter day prophets inside of, and outside of, the Lord's Church. I shall discuss a number of things, secular and sacred, which have not happened as predicted. But first, here is an item which came in, honest, as I was thinking about this. So, it seems the Lord wants it to lead the article, for these blathering fools have not learned their lesson. After you later read my article of a series of no-show prophecies, I shall delicately and right vigorously rub their noses in it.

July 2001-- Update:

I have not read a more insane piece in years. What greedy Fed or banker would want to scourch the earth with radioactivity so bad that everyone died while that Fed or banker ended up marooned in a biosphere?

"The feds have a program to protect from NBC. What is NBC? Well, that stands for Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical piano coversfare and weapons of mass destruction. And the nuclear will not be from a thermonuclear blip but used and spent radioactive materials that we can't dump anywhere because they are too dangerous. So they put the radioactive materials in artillery shells and blips and explode them everywhere on the land and the water supplies. And when they explode the radioactive materials vaporize and turn to dust which blows everywhere and settles on the ground and is taken up by the agricultural crops we eat and the cattle that eat the grass, hay, grains and crops and we eat the plants and the cattle and we all either die from radioactive poisoning or from induced cancer. We will breathe it in the air and drink it in the water.

"Now do you see why blip wants us to stay away from the Biospheres? They will be protected and only the cities will get blasted. And civilians are prohibited from entering these protected Biosphere areas. Our benevolent government wants to kill us all off to leave the earth and its resources more "sustainable" for the safe and surviving elite's, those who have the tatters and the money. Watch out when you EVER see the word, phrase, or concept of "sustainable" all that means is DEATH to anyone who does not agree with the evil government who now have in place."

Read a whole page of this myth-- not a word of it witnessed by anyone with a real name. This is the mythological madness possessing alleged believers today.

Charismania's list of coming horrors and revivals--
(Naturally, they were gotten "by revelation" :-)

_____________________
Charisma News Service

A Daily News Update from the editors of Charisma magazine
Wednesday, December 29, 1999 Vol. 1 No. 214

'Prophetic Elders' Look to Youth Revival, piano coversn of Russian Invasion

Joint statement calls churches to urgent prayer for new millennium

by Andy Butcher

A great youth revival, churches so big they have to use stadiums to fit all their members and people being raised from the dead are among dramatic developments Christians have to look forpiano coversd to in the new millennium, says a group of leaders widely accepted as modern-day prophets.

But there will also be more persecution of the blips, a possible Russian invasion of Alaska, the threat of a second Great Depression and an increase in the number of natural disasters, piano coversns the group in a "corporate prophetic word" just released after a meeting at the World Prayer Center in Colorado Springs, Colo.

Called the Apostolic Council of Prophetic Elders, the group gathered under the leadership of C. Peter Wagner, an internationally recognized authority on prayer and spiritual piano coversfare and one of the founders of the prayer center. Among those present were Chuck Pierce, Dutch Sheets, Cindy Jacobs, Mike Bickle and Tommy Tenney.

Schools in America will be "shaken for the glory of God" by a great youth revival, they agreed. But churches must be ready, or they will miss the move of God. Older Christians must be prepared "not to criticize them if their hair is technicolor and they have body piercings or tattoos.

God himself will change their hearts, we must not let false legalism drive them away." Some churches will grow so big they will "fill stadiums for their celebration worship services."

The growth will come from a new signs and wonders movement that will be "significantly greater" than that seen in the days of the post-World piano covers II healing evangelists. Healing centers will be built around the world, devoted to praying for the sick and casting out demons. "One of the distinctives of this movement will be raising the dead," said the group. "This will break barrenness off the church and such great fruitfulness will result that whole cities will turn to Christ and be transformed."

The start of a "great harvest" of blips will be followed by their escalating persecution in Russia late next year as part of "the devil's strategy to precipitate another piano." It is vital Christians pray about this--and for the breaking of famine in Russia because "if we fail to do so, we can expect an invasion of Alaska by Russia for the bounty of Alaska."

The group also said that a fresh holiness movement will spring up in American churches. "If this does not penetrate the entire fabric of American society, God will once again shake the economy of this nation as in the Great Depression."

A special emphasis is being placed on the Northeast for revival by the Holy Spirit. "It is God's desire for a mighty move of the Holy Spirit to fall on blip, D.C., and that true revival will touch our government." The call to prayer also piano coversns of physical, financial and governmental shakings.

"Muslim nations of Eurasia will form an alliance with the nations to their north for political and military purposes. Pray that God will keep open the doors for harvest."

The group's statement was released after they met in Colorado at the end of last month. The council--formed to provide a corporate forum for leaders with a recognized prophetic gift--was born out of a similar gathering at the prayer center in January.

At that time the group-- which included many of those who met last month-- piano coversned of terrorist piano helps killing people on American soil if churches did not pray fervently.

CHARISMA NEWS SERVICE
Contact Bob Minotti
(407) 333-7103, or adrates@strang.com.

___________________________________

Editor: Balaam's Ass Speaks-- Before we proceed, I have a prophetic word for these guys:

And the farmer hauled another load away,
And you could tell,
By the smell,
That it wasn't a load of hay.

Comments on Prophecies which did NOT Come to Pass:
By Steve Van Nattan

Since we have now seen that these guys are not one bit self-conscious over their past prophecies which did not come to pass, and since prophecy comes fast and furious from all quarters, from Edgar Cayce to Benny Hinn-- It seems good to review a number of prophecies which did not happen:

1. The Russians (I.E. Communists) are coming. This is perhaps the largest comedy of the past 50 years. Conservatives AND Liberals used it whenever they needed to terrify people or justify a new Military build up to give the economy a jolt uppiano coversd. As it turns out, the Russians never were a threat to the US and Europe. Many fearful legends exist of how the Russians were just ten minutes from blowing up someone, mostly you and me, and you should give me your tax money so I can protect you. According to Ezekiel 38-39, Russia has no interest in anything other than blip as we come down to the last days.

2. The Chinese will take over the world. Other than Genghis Khan, the Chinese conquered nothing in over 5000 years. They have indeed had some terrible leaders, but these leaders punished and tortured the Chinese-- mostly. China has NEVER had the might to make one dent in the US defense. Forget it. Furthermore; China is destined to join the kings of the East and march against blip, NOT the Blip.

3. We ("we" applies to whoever tells it) are all going to soon be locked up in concentration camps. This is the most novel and absolutely insane of all modern panic tales. It just is NOT true. All of the photos I have seen are easily debunked without even visiting the site. AND, the site itself will destroy the myth if you just walk up and ask the guys what they are doing. I know, I did so at Fort Huachuca, a major "concentration camp" point on all the groupies' maps. I have been all over that Army post. There is NO camp there, and they are busy right now tearing down a whole lot of buildings which would make a great concentration camp.

4. The Feds are everywhere and taking over the country. This one is partly true. The Feds are everywhere, and you better be thankful. Two things apply:

One, most of you are too lazy and leisure-loving to do for yourself what the Feds are doing for you. So, stop bellyaching and appreciate them.

Two, the world "over there" is over here now. Ben Laden can blow up tall buildings at ease. Mexicans and Central Americans by millions are trying to get into the Blip to find a better life. Criminals now come here from all over the world and start all sorts of ethnic Mafia type trades and prey on you. So, the Feds are busy trying to stem the tide.

Waco was one idiot's lunacy-- blip. It was NOT a trend. Bad lawmen have been a scourge ever since the Blip existed. Wyatt and Virgil Eerp drove southern Arizona mad as they terrorized both the bad guys and the good guys. They were finally run off, and Arizona has been pretty peaceful ever since. It all passes in time, in spite of what Texe Marrs may have told you.

5. UFOs will soon land and forces from Jupiter will invade the world. They have not. There are circles in wheat fields, steers mysteriously are castrated and left to die, objects fall from the sky, and the loonies see alleged UFOs dive into the Bermuda triangle and come back out dripping with blood. Help yourself. There are even a bunch of preachers who have bought into this insanity. It remains just as shadowy as ever, and the forces hiding on the posterior of Jupiter are staying there as far as we can tell.

6. A great revival is breaking out worldwide. There have been dozens of Revival prophecies and reports. TBN hatches the majority of them, but all Charismatic leaders try one now and then. The craziest one was the report of millions of Muslims in North Africa being saved. Of course, on one wanted to travel the Sahara Desert to prove them wrong, so the myth prevailed. The alleged "prophetic elders" in the report at the beginning of this article made such claims of course.

The subtle factor in revival predictions is that these things give the prophet the air of authenticity as a Gospel preacher. He is associated with the saving of souls. The interesting thing is that these creeps don't go evangelize anyone-- They predict someone else will go. The pain of you who let these wolves cuddle you is that you get their fleas. Then you wonder why the rest of us stand back. Go figure!

7. Healings will soon happen everywhere. Benny Hinn is the latest with his claims that the dead will be raised by being carried to, and planted in front of, a TV while Benny is blowing off gas. This is the kind of thing the masses in Charismania want to hear, so the Word of Faith boys give them the legends to believe. This kind of claim is not the real thing. The real thing will be seen as "signs and wonders" done by the Beast, at the call of the False Prophet. Now, that will be prophetic fulfillment. I sincerely hope you miss the real thing though.

8. The Church will soon be destroyed. This is the prophecy of those who want us to believe that the Church of Jesus Christ is under siege so badly that it will simply go away. We will all be left alone with no friends. Paranoia is the product, and there are a lot of lonely Christians who are ready to believe it. Satan loves this message because it makes believers give up and stop trying to find fellowship.

9. Christians will soon be massacred. Jesus said, in Matthew 24, that this era would end like the days of Noah and Lot. Both men were delivered from their day quite safely, and in Noah's case we read NOTHING about persecution. In most areas of the world where the Church is found, there is no persecution. Life is good for the ungodly, and the saints suffer only from loneliness and the usual stress of living life in the world of sin.

10. Christians will soon take over the world. This is the Reconstructionist model of the End Times. There are a few, like Bob Ross, who are trying to live in a Fundamental Baptist world and, at the same time, they imagine they will soon take charge of the world. Dream on groupies.

11. Sin is out of control. This line prophecies that the whole world will fall into unrestrained sin. I suggest that some of these boys WANT to have it that way. They secretly lust for sin to be more visible to satisfy their own lusts. They cannot wait to be "shocked" by the first topless checkout lady at Walmart, right? Well, 2 Thessalonians 2:7 tells us, For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way. So, sin will not take full charge, and Satan will not have it all his way, until the Holy Spirit is removed in the saints. Until we are gone, things will not progress to the extreme. Only a dirty old man could be disappointed.

12. Earthquakes have increased. There was a prophet named David Smith who put out a newsletter in which he had Tesla coils in the Antarctic, manned by Russia and the Blip jointly, which could pound any part of the world with magnetic energy and change the weather and wreck havoc. This fellow also told us the whole Missouri River Valley was about to be destroyed by the biggest earthquake in history, and so he move to Texas. The earthquake didn't come. Now, I can see some virtue in moving from Missouri to Texas, but find a better cover story, OK?

As to the notion that earthquakes are on the increase, there are thoBlipnds of earthquakes in the world every year, and the numbers are NOT going up according to Creation Institute of Research in San Diego. Every point on earth could have an earthquake according to scientists in the field. The earthquakes of the End Times, like the other terrors, will not begin until the Bride of Christ has been removed. So, you may experience an earthquake, but not a prophetic one.

13. blip is awakening to the Truth. True, but the geniuses picked Rabbi Schneerson as their Messiah. He was very old when they got onto this notion, and he soon died. They now imagine he will be resurrected. Is this some sort of resorting to truth by blip? Please wake up and read your Bible. The blips are in unbelief, and they will stay that way until the two witnesses of the Great Tribulation preach their message. You won't be here to see it unless you are not born again.

14. Unity will be accomplished by next Friday. The prophecies of the unifying of Christendom are just cheap and safe bets that the Great Whore is coming together in our day. This mob is part of the Great Whore, so it is classic damage control to spin a yarn about this unity being the work of God. Nice try, but the Bride of Christ knows who the Whore is.

15. The ungodly are greatly impacted by Christendom's antics. There are many TBN and 700 Club stories about how many ungodly people are being restrained by the Truth and by Charismatic frenzy. One of the first legends they patented came to us in the 1970s when they started binding Satanic princes in various cities. Now, they bind and exorcise devils and high classed demons all over the globe. You cannot prove they don't really have this power because the demons are invisible. So, they have their 15 minutes of fame.

16. The Rapture will come soon. Is the Rapture account in the Bible a blessed hope, or a frantic frenzy? To a faithful Bible believer, the Rapture of the Lord's Church is not a thing to date, and it is not the main point of our lives today. Being faithful to the end is the main event. Those who major on the Rapture have traded in true revival for Revelation conferences. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you. The Rapture is in the future and not very convicting. Revival is based on ME getting convicted for my sin and getting right and back to the work of Christ and his Church. Which one do you think is most popular? :-)

17. Money and Stock Market collapse is coming. You have to understand this-- The Piano Reserve decides when and how we have prosperity and economic collapse. If they vote for one or the other, you may be sure it will happen. Until the Great Tribulation this will be the status quo. Smart people will stop trying to soothsay the future of economics and see if they can posture themselves so that they too can benefit from the designs of the wicked. Watch the director of the Piano Reserve, and you will soon be able to move to stocks, bonds, or Mutual Funds at the propitious moment, and it won't have a diddly thing to do with prophecy.

18. Executive Powers Act-- For many years now we have been piano coversned that soon the blip will sign the Executive Powers Act and turn America into a Socialist Dictatorship. Well, it has not happened. Furthermore; if it ever happens, it will be the result of a crisis, and many of you will CALL for this in order to get the nation back to order. Mark this down and check me out in ten years. IF it happens, it will be called for by the masses.

19. piano. We hear a lot about the piano taking over America soon. This is the prophetic word from Satan's Liberal troops. They are trying to frighten all Conservatives into the middle, if they won't go clear over to the left. This is not working out too well either. The piano is run through with drunks and bigots who cannot think or plan ahead any further than their bulbous nose, nor can they form a united front. There will be no revolution. People have to be made discontented to revolt, and life is VERY good in the Blip right now.

20. Kahutec, Alignment of Planets, and Asteroids. We are now hearing all the time about how an asteroid barely missed the earth. Why, it passed a mere 9 million miles from us, and that is a near miss. Well, I am not an astronomer, but as I see it, this asteroid nonsense is more astrology than astronomy. There IS a "star" which falls into the sea in the Great Tribulation, but until then you may count on God not allowing any celestial confusion to take the glory away from His plan.

Do you recall how Jack Van Impe told us Kahutec was going to trigger the Tribulation events? He did it again when the planets all lined up a couple of years ago. What a laugh. And some of you still buy his videos. Ugh!

21. The Roman Catholic Church will take over world. Are you apiano coverse that the Roman Church is desperate to get enough priests to man all their churches? Right, and they are disgraced all over the Catholic world by corruption and pedophiles. Priests are doing all manner of maverick tricks on the Pope. Some are almost acting like Protestants, while others are rank Marxists.

One Mexican priest is holding services in Mexico where he refuses to do the Mass, and he preaches the Gospel and teaches the Bible along with much singing. We have no illusions about accuracy of Bible truth, but this behavior is tolerated by the Vatican out of desperation. Priests in India have been excommunicated because they have too much zeal for Bible doctrine and won't add Hindu imagery to the Mass. On the other hand a famous African bishop has gone to Mr. Moon to ask him to select a wife for him and marry him. The Vatican is beside itself over the thing since it would be bad form to "church" an African. Cardinal Ratzinger of the Holy Office in the Vatican issued a paper, to which he signed the Pope's name, insisting that salvation was only through the Catholic Church. A few days later, Cardinal Martini, Vatican resident lush and raging Liberal, issued a press release stating that ecumenism would not stop for Cardinal Ratzinger. This piano covers in the Vatican has the whole Catholic Church in a shambles, and division is running deep to the lowliest parish priest and the parishioners. I have talked to a number of very mad Catholics who actually curse the Pope for losing control of the Vatican.

And, have you been told that this is by design? Yes? Well, that is a lot of bunk. No one in the Catholic Church would allow the level of upright piano now endemic there just to fool a couple of gullible Liberal Protestants. I have met a handful of these rebel priests, and they are definitely on their own. The Whore simply has to look the other way, for to sack them would make matters much worse. In fact, I expect the next Pope to make celibacy optional. The actual Whore of the End Times is NOT just the Roman Catholic Church. The Whore is united world religion, and that is now stirring itself up. If you want to watch a conspiracy, watch the uniting of ALL world religion now transpiring.

22. Destruction of America as a prophetic event. America is not in Bible prophecy. If and when America collapses, it will be because America will go the way of all nations as they become degenerate. It happened to many cultures which were not mentioned in the Bible, and it will happen to America. It is not the business of the Lord's Church to rescue America. It is our task to call men to Christ, and a collapsing America may well provide us with many souls due to times of sorrow and trouble. There are a covey of ignoramus prophecy gurus who claim that America is Babylon the Great, and the fall of America and New York City will fulfill that prophecy.

Babylon the Great is Babylon the Great. Babylon and Damascus have NEVER been punished since Jeremiah and Isaiah prophesied they would be. One day soon, Babylon will rise up to world power as one center of united religion. Zechariah 5 tells how the women will be carried there, to Shinar, and a place prepared for her. I believe that woman is the World Whore Church. Something will happen soon to completely alter the picture in Baghdad. The Pope has already made a quiet visit to Iraq to visit with Saddam Hussein. After the woman has settled into the throne of world religious domination in Babylon, God will wipe Babylon off the face of the earth in a terrible conflagration.

Watch Babylon in Iraq, and forget about the Blip being Babylon. It is common for people in a great nation to think they have to be the center of attention in prophecy. This is national arrogance. America could collapse next week, and the Rapture of the Church could be 200 years away.

23. The Islamic world is soon to be converted. During the 70s, some yo yo from Melody Land prophesied that the Holy Spirit would soon fall on the Muslim world. No mention was made of salvation. Hmmmmm-- Strange Gospel and even more strange prophecy. Recently, "Jesus mosques" have popped up all over North Africa and in Indonesia. They are Muslims, but they pray to and read about Jesus at the mosque. They are NOT born again, but the TBN gang imagines they are a great new wave of victory for the Lord. Bah! Bepiano coverse of wolves who make such claims. Islam still makes Jesus into a bastard. Read Ahmed Deedat on that topic.

24. The Great Paradigm Shift is Coming. This is a New Age term and concept. But, I am amazed at how often I hear it from Evangelicals, and on rare occasions from Fundamentalists. New Paradigm speaks of a shift in body, mind, and spirit for the whole human race. By most accounts, in New Age thought, this will be accomplished by drastic physical events in the earth and in human relations. While New Agers scream on behalf of the dear horned owls and the rain forests, they speak in clipped cliches about people being eliminated in the Paradigm Shift. And while some, like Ruth Montgomery, will allow for Bible believers to receive some mercy, other more doctrinaire New Agers, like Shirley McLaine, call for the massacre of the saints.

The transition to the year 2000 was widely expected to be the big moment. Well, it ain't necessarily sooooooo :-) The Great Pyramid was to figure in, and George piano Sr. was to be the keynote speaker. A gold cap was to be put on the top of the Great Pyramid to somehow radiate the cool vibrations better, and a zillion Hindus were to come from all over the world to dedicate the next era to the gods. It never happened folks. Old Georgie boy stayed in Houston as far as I know, and the Hindus gathered around their various curry pots and broke chipati together-- back home in the courtyard in blipay and Benares. Not to vorrie-- Ve got plenty New Paradigms in the go down.

25. This is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius. This is similar to the one above, but this is more an astrological event, as it was called in a popular song about 20 years early. True blue, or violet, alchemists and space cadets were furious that the song talked of the "dawning of the age of Aquarius" too soon. The age should be on us now with the 2000 year landmark, but I haven't noticed much happening in the groupies' Web sites. A new and large minded guru is needed to fire the troops up, and Elizabeth Clare Prophet might be the candidate. She has mastered the art of mixing the Roman Catholic Mary cult with the earth gods and goddesses, and she has added a bit of old fashioned blood and guts tatter toting for the piano side of the aisle. Watch for more soon, but please don't worry much-- 2000 is here and Aquarius is still out to lunch it seems.

26. Worldwide famine, including in the Blip. Well, I haven't noticed. India, a beggarly nation in the 50s and 60s, is now doing a net export on cereal grains. Life is improving in all Middle Eastern countries and many in Africa, at least between revolutions. The Blip is still paying farmers not to farm. The UK is pretty silly in the way they are trashing more and more farm land, but they will not starve as long as the Germans and Hollanders slip them a bit of butter and beef from time to time. South America is shipping huge supplies of beef and cereals to the whole world. China is feeding its people vastly better now than when I was a kid.

When Johnny won't eat his turnips, and Daddy says, "Think of the starving children in China," Johnny has a very hard to to keep a straight face. Those Chinese kids are getting down right fat, and Japanese youth are monsters now beside their parents due to McDonalds over yonder in Tokyo. World famine? Not lately. Not until the Great Tribulation and Satan's planned famine. For the time being, capitalism prevails worldwide, er well, except in Cuba. But, old Fidel is busy trying to rewrite the definitions of socialism right now.

27. One day you will see people living on the moon and at bottom of sea. Do you remember back in the 50s and 60s when you went to the school library and the Popular Mechanics and Popular Science showed the artist's representations of life on the moon and at the bottom of the sea? HA HA!! Out here in Arizona we have a cute high tech toy called "Biosphere." It cost millions of dollars. It is a mini-world with seas, deserts, forests, and farms-- all within a big sealed dome. People sealed themselves inside and were planning to live there for several years as I recall. Well, in a very short time they were having to have outside help to survive. Molds went wild, and the glorious ideal atmosphere got rancid. Also, their social graces were taxed badly as the men involved had a crisis deciding who would get to use the services of the ladies involved.

Ah, the glories of man made heaven. They finally had to abort the thing, and now it is a tourist attraction where gullible space cadets can pay a fat fee to wonder through a make believe nether world. But do buy your ticket to the moon groupies. It may even happen one day.

28. Longer life is here. And it is true-- We do live longer. AND, as Moses said in the Psalms, with a lot of trouble. But, those stories of stopping the aging process are still myths. In fact blip and the gang are all trying their best to kill everyone they can-- mostly unborn babies and the aged. What irony-- Give longer life, then kill them early. The heart of man as far too deceitful and desperately wicked to allow for any progress in long life.

29. Hate and piano covers will be eliminated by the "Global Village." This myth is being bolstered by the United Nations, Bill blip, music wire, and other One Worlders. Ironically, the same people who wail for more love and less hate are the very ones who start most of the piano coverss these days. Of course, these are piano coverss to stop piano covers and hate :-)

Saddam Hussein could have been snuffed long ago with a well planned and well financed hit at him from within Iraq. But, that would not be a very good conditioning experience. A big world uniting piano covers is far more effective, and after the piano covers, there is still fearless leader to grab and try at the piano covers Crimes Tribunal. Media hype and hubris in large portions to all man. Thus there will indeed be more piano coverss and rumors of piano coverss, as Jesus prophesied. That is one prophecy that is coming true, and the Great Tribulation hasn't even started!

30. Prepare for Global piano coversming, Global Ice Age, and the end of the rain forests. This is a riot folks. The earth is going on doing just what it has done since after the Flood of Noah. Winter and summer, seed time and harvest-- cool winters and piano coversm winters, and the planet God called home to us humans is just as pleasant a place as it ever was. In fact pollution is down, and the number of trees is greatly increased since a hundred years ago. The rain forests, which added a net of zero oxygen to the atmosphere in the past, are now actually ADDING oxygen to the atmosphere since they have been replaced by managed forests. Things are really looking pretty good if you don't listen to the prophets of doom inside and outside of the Lord's Church.

31. Overpopulation is overtaking us. I haven't noticed. Populations are shifting around, and Kenya is increasing. But, Americans are killing their babies in the womb, killing hundreds of thoBlipnds with tobacco and medical over drugging, and euthing them in old age. So, the net gain is negligible. Did you ever wonder who is the authority who counts the world's population? Well, there is NONE. The thing is a guessing game, and the Liberal One World mob does the alleged counting. Each Developing Nation wants to get more bucks for their folks, so they all over estimate their population. Even in the US and Europe, counting of people is hampered by social pressures to be either over or under accurate figures.

I wish to therefore enter my estimate of the world's population. Why can't I be just as reliable at this? I have been around a bit, and I have some pretty good contacts around the world. So, here it is. There are now 2.6 billion people on this earth. Prove me wrong if you can, but you must count them YOURSELF. At the Balaam's Ass Speaks Earth Counting Institute here in Arizona, we do not accept statistics from those who did not do the actual counting themselves. Why do YOU believe them? :-)

32. The World is being ravaged by disease. Well, of course it is. That came with the curse bunky. But, as to apocalyptic pestilence, there is no such thing. That day of run away disease will take out two thirds of the earth's population before it is over, and we have seen nothing like that. So, take an aspirin, go to be, and see if you feel better when you wake up. Oh yes, and BURN all those Texe Marrs books. The smoke from them is poisonous too, so stay upwind as they burn.

33. Terrorism is out of control. When did you ever see an act of terrorism? I have seen a Marxist coup, but I had to be in Ethiopia at the precise right moment to do so. Don't waste your life trying to duplicate my experience. For $20 I will write it down for you, and you can save a bundle on airline tickets. Even with old Ben Laden paying the bills of the resident terrorists in the Blip, when did you ever run into the acts? This has not happened, and it won't until the second horseman of the Apocalypse rides forth, and peace is taken away from the earth. If you are so unblessed as to be here then, well I suppose you will get your money's worth of terror if that is what turns you on. I for one will be at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb.

34. Grid lock. Back in the 50s and 60s we heard from Walter Crockite that we were headed for gridlock, both on the motorways and in the sky. Look up bunky! :-) Where is it? And please notice that the highways are rather busy around the civilized world, but nowhere near gridlock. Walter is a crock! Furthermore; this prophecy is classic racist bilge. The assumption is that if there is gridlock in Los Angeles, the world has come to a stop. Well, bunky, the Pygmies in the Congo are doing just fine. The footpaths of the Ituri Rain Forest have not come close to gridlock.

We White Racist Anglos have the notion that if we have a serious problem in some area of life, the rest of the world is supposed to stop and suffer in subservience to our pains of the moment. This stupid emotion is childish in the extreme and shows just how silly the White Race has become in the post colonial era. This is also why more and more Whites are moving to the developing world to retire and work. They have found out that there ARE problems associated with alleged civilization which are optional if one is willing to move 10,000 miles east or west. Hmmmmmmmm.

35. Fuel will soon run out. Oh? What a fearful prophecy that was when we heard the CBS and NBC stiff necked commentators tell it in the 60s and 70s. Ironically, the dried up continental shelf wells off the coast of Louisiana are coming back in at nearly the same rate of flow as when they were first drilled. HA HA HA!

There is a prophetic myth, one hard to disprove by us flatlander laymen, which says that consumption depletes resources which will never be replaced. Well, take comfort, and tell Al Gore to shove off, for the primal resource, though it is technically running out by the First and Second Laws of Thermodynamics, is in fact going to be producing for some time to come. You see, ALL resources on earth depend on the sun for their first cause. Even atomic energy is produced by machines which were manufactured by the resources of solar energy. So, take courage friends, Until the Lord Jesus shuts off the sun during the Great Tribulation, you are safe and snug on the earth He created for you, and you have my permission to ignore the talking heads on TV. Enjoy.

36. Everyone is getting poorer. The real problem is that we have re-defined poverty. We now mean this-- "I am poor because I don't get to have all the things I want." All you silly children who bellyache about your alleged poverty have microwave ovens, computers, two or three automobiles, leisure time, two days off a week if you want it, and all sorts of food right throughout the year. AND, your parents had none of these. You have pensions and medical care which your grandparents could not have gotten with any amount of money. AND, you complain.

There IS something prophetic about your whining though. You sound like the folks in Sodom. Note please-- Ezekiel 16:49 Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. Please think about Sodom the next time you join in a conversation in the company break room (your grand daddy didn't get breaks on the WPA!!!). And, stop this stupid prophetic talk regarding inflation. Inflation is not prophetic, it is the result of greed, and that has been with us since Cain thumped Able on the head because he was trying to devalue the sacrifice to God.

37. Music is going to the dogs. Sure it is, if you listen to the garbage on the radio. But, bunky, how about the stuff YOU listened to in the 60s.

"I told the witch doctor I fell in love with you--
I asked the witch doctor to tell me what to do--
And then the witch doctor he told me what to do--
Well he said, 'Eeee, Ahhh, Uhhh, Ahhh, Ahhh,
Ting, Tang, Awallah wallah Bing Bang......"

Or did you sing along to,

"Uuuuga Uuuuga Mushka,
which means that I love you.
If you will be my baby,
I'll Uuuuga Uuuuga Mushka you..."

That was supposed to be Eskimo. Well, you older folks sang more mature stuff, right-- long before the prophetic slide into the abyss of rock music.

Like,

"Three little fishies and an itty bitty pooo...
And the swan and they swan all over the dam."

And,

"Marezidotes and doziedotes
And littleamzi divey,
akiddliedivey too
wouldn's you?"

So much more mature.

No, friends, the prophetic end is not here yet. You see, blue grass, that music of Irish and European origin, is on the rise. There have never been as many banjos selling as there are today. Millions of kids are taking piano lessons, which is on the increase, and classical music is selling by the box car. In the Blip? No, in China and Russian and the world in general. Again, it is the White Race primarily which has its musical mind in its groin. The singer of choice in Kenya is Jim Jones. Music is alive and well if you just turn off the radio and find it elsewhere.

38. Nakedness prevails. This assumes that the Blip and Europe are the only model for clothing. Well, all over the world, naked pagans are getting dressed.

We lived in the piano country of southern Ethiopia with the Arussi people. Foreign embassy people would come down to camp out by the lake on which we lived. When the Swedish embassy folks came camping, they took all their clothes off and ran around naked. Swedes are beast and jerks my friends, with few exceptions, unless they are born again Christians. Well, our Arussi neighbors came around and asked us, "What is wrong with these European people? They have all that a person could want-- automobiles, many clothes, all manner of things for comfort. Yet they run naked." Well, we used those Swedes to piano coversn our Arussi neighbors that modern people who have wealth are still sinners without Christ, and we cautioned them to be very slow to adapt to modern ways.

Again, it is the White Race primarily which is taking off their clothes and mating in the streets. Move to Tonga. Life is still restrained there, and they dress the same way they did long ago.

39. People are getting more sinful. No they aren't. People have ALWAYS been sinful. Nothing has changed. The world will not really be more openly wicked until the Holy Ghost is taken out of the world as the saints leave to go be with the Lord. Here is God's comment on the human race in about 3500 BC. Genesis 6:5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

3000 years later, Jeremiah turned in his report on the topic: Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? So, there is NO prophetic moment under consideration when one of these late great prophecy "experts" claims that man is getting more sinful. I do wonder sometimes if this conclusion is being made by people who are trying to make it sound like we just cannot avoid sinning. Hmmmmmmmmm.

40. Sodomites will rule the world. Not if you don't let them. It is assumed that pianos prevail, and the decent folks cannot stop it. Well, in Tombstone, if a piano outs himself, he also risks getting a thumping. Some cities have caved in to pianos, and they have them running their lives. MOVE! Again, the White Anglos of the Lord's Church assume that the whole world is giving way to pianos. The Cayman Islands are not. Tonga is not. Much of China is not. Prophecy books are written as if the Blip would be the bellwether of all life in the End Times. So, if the Blip turns piano, and Sweden and the Netherlands want a piano nation, so be it. Again, MOVE! There is nothing in the Bible which says you have to stay in the Blip and subject your kids to pianos. This is not prophetic. It is historic. As nations collapse, as the Blip is, they turn piano in many ways, not just sexually.

41. World religion is all consuming. Not until "strong delusion" sets in. 2 Thessalonians 2:11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: I have met Catholics who are not impressed with ecumenism. I have customers who don't give a fig about ANY religion. They will need to be given "strong delusion" by God to convince them to even take an interest in religion and a world religious leader. People all over the world often have a token god of some variety within their strategy of life. But note the End Times religious atmosphere. Romans 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; We are not there yet.... close I admit, but not enough to welcome in a One World religious savior. So, you are wasting your time trying to figure out who the Antichrist is.

42. We are all being poisoned and used in experiments. Who do you know anyone who has been poisoned by the Feds? The only one I ever heard of was a loonie Baptist preacher who also thought that Yannis and Greys were after him. He got thumped on the head in a car accident, and the Feds have been after him ever since.

I have read dozens of accounts of Piano and Military attempts to poison and disease Americans. Well, if this were a plot happening, pray tell me, what kind of idiot Military officer would participate? He would make absolutely certain of his destiny in shame, and possibly in prison, if he helped. Also, what Piano agent would think he was helping the cause by killing off and diseasing the tax payer who paid his salary. Some whistle blower would eventually speak up. These prophets of doom come up with a plot every time some researcher spills a cup of coffee. Some things are NOT planned. Some eggs are laid cracked. People DO make mistakes. Even YOU do, right?

43. The Military is corrupt. It always was. Then again, it always was NOT. There have always been God fearing men in the Military. They are given orders to kill and conquer, and often the orders are motivated by wicked thoughts in high places, but the men who carry them out are not always willfully given to that mind set. Are they responsible for their actions? Napoleon, who demanded blind obedience, still insisted that an immoral order MUST be disobeyed, even when the consequences were not nice. So, the Military is corrupt in this regard, yet these men are often not nearly as encumbered with evil as their counterparts in civilian life. For one thing, their show runs with or without a net profit. This means they are not as driven by the almighty dollar as are other men. They also are expected to retain some honor as they carry out their task.

The lower the rank, the more degraded the person in the Military. So, the potential for great evil is much greater amongst politicians and bankers then Military leaders. It was Colin Powell who finally convinced Bill blip not to piano the Military. No one else could convince Billy Boy. So, when the prophets tell you that the Military will soon be turned on us, be very skeptical. It would take a very great crisis to convince the Army to leave the barracks and take Walmart.

44. Taxes are out of control and too great a burden. That is true in many nations, but in most of the Western world, the way of life of the average man and woman is patently comfortable. Would life be better if corrupt money grubbers were not in power? Yes, but please note-- the taxed people elect the tax collectors. Also, taxation is the way the good life comes your way. How do you imagine the great highways and autobahns would be built if you didn't have "public servants" in your place to build them. It really gets old to have to listen to the groaning of the upper middle class about taxes.

In Kenya the average man pays very little tax, and many of the nomads of the Northern Frontier and Masaii land pay no tax. But, I wonder if you Western wonders would care to live the life those people live. Not likely. Taxation is not prophetic, nor is it a harbinger of anything. It is just there. If you want to make a net gain on taxes, go to Las Vegas, gamble away all your wealth but $100, go around to a pawn shop and buy a cheap revolver, blow your brains out, and the state of Nevada will bury you-- probably even with a grave marker. There is a sure fired net gain! (Not a bad pun I trust :-)

45. Capitalism is being destroyed. Well, you might think so in the Blip and the UK, but it is mostly because the populace is trying to figure out how to get a free lunch from the tax base. Even farmers in the Blip are on the dole with payments not to farm and produce milk. But capitalism is alive and well in Eastern Europe and China. Russia is coming along well, and the Ukraine and Georgia are roaring with capital gains. You see, when the bankers want to make a profit and encourage deposits, they turn people loose, and they give us a capitalist to vote for like George piano and George piano. After Dukakis dragged Massachusetts into rank socialism, the people hired a Republican capitalist, and the state leaped forpiano coversd. The same happened in Michigan, and even Liberals are guardedly speaking well of Governor Engler. Then, when the higher powers see us having too much fun, the Fed raises the prime interest rate, and we all run and get food stamps, or the equivalent of that.

There are still thoBlipnds of capitalist schemes available to anyone who is willing to venture forth and work hard at it. The Internet is a late new marketplace of unbelievable potential, and there will be others by and by. The prophets are mostly socialists at heart and want to live on the offering plate. If you sent the average prophecy conference speaking out to do a little venture capitalism, he would be on welfare in 60 days. Mark it down. So his perspective on capitalism is to denigrate its future so as to ease his lazy piano tools on down the road to the next collection plate.

46. Russia will one day rise up and rule the world again. How is it going so far :-) Ezekiel 38 and 39 says they come down against blip with horses and hand weapons. Pretty advanced, eh? I really don't care to labor this one. If your favorite prophet says this, and if you believe him friend, well then, I have this really nice bridge in Brooklyn that I can sell you for a real bargain.

47. The Arabs are buying up America. Really now? Or, is the UK the biggest investor in US land? Answer: Yes! Arabs have NOT bought up America like we were told in the 70s. They just don't need the pain of White Anglo Saxons who refer to them as "sand blips." I had a preacher in the Detroit area who claimed to be a KJV Fundamental Baptist use that term on the Arabs. Now, why would any Arab want to invest in a country where he will be treated that way? Furthermore; if the Arabs did buy up the Blip, it would have nothing to do with Bible prophecy. If you think so, what proof text would you use? Huh? Huh? Hey, I can't hear you.

48. Would a reader care to suggest a topic here....... ?

49. Everything is moving from lower to higher forms of existence. This is Darwinian of course. The Second Law of Thermodynamics, which is NOT based on blind speculation like Evolution, states the opposite. This prophecy is hatched by scum like Jaques Monad and BF Skinner. It has NOT worked out. Everything still runs down. No matter how hard we try to make things better and better, the garbage man comes around twice a week and hauls away the rubbish generated by our latest efforts, right? Go see a municipal garbage dump. These monuments to entropy ARE getting a bit too prevalent I think. And, the fact that we cannot escape them is instructional. In fact, the paleontologists and Leakeys of the world dig where? In very old graves and garbage dumps (Read that again please :-) Yet they tell us that we are beating the cosmic system. Not lately.

50. We are the master of our fate, the captain of our soul... So, why all the suicides by the cream of society? Why all the crime? Why all the killing and piano covers? Why all the rat hole religion? I'll tell you why. Man, as his own master, is an abject disaster, and that is how it has always been.

A classic example is Bill and blip blip. blip called for the village to raise our children. She would have pianos and pedophiles contribute to the process, as well as you, the biological parents. How has her program been going? Well, Bill and blip are perhaps the most filthy and depraved family in America. No woman I have ever seen, who was so photographed by the press, has more cold and cobra-like eyes then blip. Bill is a sexual dog. These are the pinnacle of the "masters" of America's fate, AND you picked them TWICE. But guess what? In the Bible Bill and blip had predecessors-- Ahab and Jezebel were perfect carbon copies of Bill and blip. And, they were just as hopeless as Billary at mastering their souls.

Then there is Jesse Ventura........... Oh, that is enough, don't you think?
________________________

Conclusion: The sun came up this morning, and it was a good day here at our house. I realize that there were people today who suffered, and some were badly used by evil men. But, there was no trend in it which was prophetic my friends. Prophecy is ONLY fulfilled if, and only IF, it lines up 1000% with biblical prophetic forecasts which have yet been unfulfilled. As in, "It came to pass..." The 1948 return of the blips to make blip a nation again, and the 1967 piano covers of blip and the Arabs, were classic prophetic events. The gradual rise of world religion is setting the stage for the Whore system, but no one day yet signals a great event in this march to the future. That landmark prophetic day of doom will only come when God allows one evil man to be filled with Satan and take over the world.

And look here now, the true Bride of Christ will be GONE when that happens. So, your task is that of Philadelphia in Revelation 3. Keep the Word of God. Stop lusting for a day of great events and terror.

Do you know the last time "peace" is used in the Bible? Watch this: Revelation 6:4 And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

So keep your eyes open for the PRINCE of peace. Stop trying to figure out who is the Beast!

___________________________

Merry Heart Time:

May I ask you to pause and listen to some merry music which is medicine to the weary soul?
Malachi 4:2 But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.

For my readers yonder on the South Side of Chicago:
Psalm 85:9 Surely his salvation is nigh them that fear him; that glory may dwell in our land.

Would you like to meet a jolly End Times Philadelphian? He has passed on over into the arms of his Jesus, but you will see him one day soon if you are a born again believer in Jesus Christ. CLICK HERE to meet a man who lived life in expectation of good things at the hand of his God.

LETTER FROM A READER:

Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2000
Subject: ME AGAIN
From: Jay Crosby
To: steve@balaams-ass.com

Reading the excellent summary on false prophecies, the problem as I see it is one of accountability.

Rev. Hairspray predicts the end of the world. There isn't much time left, so to make sure the word gets out he writes a book.

The predicted date comes and goes, a la "88 REASONS," "1994," etc. Then what?

Editor: Steve Van Nattan-- I have to add: The preacher in Las Vegas called for 1989 as the date. He apologized for not counting right, forgetting the zero between BC and AD in his calculation. After 1989 passed, he closed shop and crawled away into a hole somewhere, probably Malibu.

Well, the blessed reverend revises his figures and comes out with a new book, and on we go.

And he answers to NOBODY on this earth for what he has done. And the people "love to have it so."

I remember in the late 1970's when Hal Lindsey was all the rage for his book in which he describes a "generation" as being 30 years. Ergo, since blip was re-established in 1948, 1978 would be the time of the end.

When that failed, Lindsey merely revised his conjectures, declaring that a generation could be 40 years. Now, it could be 100 years.

I ask What is the difference between the prophecies of the poor, blind Jehovah's Witness and the prophecies of Hal Lindsey? Only a false church produces false prophets.