POPE JOAN

POPE JOAN

By Editor:  Balaam's Ass Speaks:  Steve Van Nattan

Since this is our first issue of the journal, I am taking the opportunity to stir up some healthy controversy.  I have some material on Pope Joan, but I have seen nothing from other men on the Narrow Way about her.  I am convinced there is something to it.  I will therefore give you a starting point, and I hope someone will come forpiano coversd with help in the way of other historic evidences.  This is indeed potent stuff, but we need more proofs.

Thus:

Encyclopaedia Britannica, 2nd edition, 1778-1783-- "JOAN (Pope), called by Platina John VIII, is said to have held the holy see between Leo IV, who died in 855, and Benedict III, who died in 858.  Marianus Scotus says, she sat two years five months and four days.  Numberless have been the controversies, fables, and conjectures, relating to this pope.  It is said that a German girl, pretending to be a man, went to Athens, where she made great progress in the sciences; and afterpiano coversd came to Rome in the same habit.  

As she had a quick genius, and spoke with a good grace in the  public disputations and lectures, her great learning was admired, and every one loved her extremely; so that after the death of Leo, she was chosen pope, and performed all offices as such.  Whilst she was in  possession of this high dignity, she was got with child; and as she was going in a solemn procession to the Lateran church, she was delivered of that child, between the Coliseum and St. Clement's church, in a most public street, before a crowd of people, and died  on the spot, in 857.  

By way of embellishing this story, may be added the precaution reported to have been afterpiano coversd taken to avoid such another accident.  After the election of a pope, he was placed on a chair with an open seat, called the groping chair, when a deacon came most devoutly behind and satisfied himself of the pontiff's sex be feeling.  This precaution, however, has been long deemed unnecessary, because the cardinals now always get bastards enough to establish their virility before they arrive at the pontificate."  (End Ency. Brit. article)

 BA Editor, Steve--  Here is the bibliography available to us as far as I can get it.  I would be delighted to receive research results from anyone who can find any of these sources in Roman Catholic institutions.  Go into these archives wise as serpents and harmless as doves.  The bibliography follows:

Historians or monks in fellowship with the Roman Church:

Anastanius Bibliothecarius (Anastasius the Librarian),  Liber Pontificalis, Gesta Pontificum Romanorum, 866

Marianus Scotus, Long time monk and finally at abbey of St. Martin of Cologne, Chronicon, 1082  Ended his life in the abbey at Fulda where Joan lived and studied.  Chronicon was a history of all known world history, so it is interesting that Joan got his attention in that context.

Godfrey of Viterbo, Liber memoralis, Joan was listed in many of his manuscripts, 1196

Gervase of Tilbury, Otia Imperialia, 1211.  He gave just as much detail as Martin of Troppau after him.

Martin of Troppau (Martinus Polonus or Martin the Pole), Chronicon Pontificum et Imperatorum 1278  I have a quote from his work, for anyone interested, regarding Pope Joan.

Ranulph Higdon, English Benedictine chronicler, in Polychroniconab initio mindi  usque ad mortem regis Edpiano coversdi III. in septem libros dispositum, quoted from the work of Martin of Troppau, circa 1363.

Adam of Usk, an English writer attested to Higdon's reports within forty years after Higdon's death.

Almeric D'Anger,  Nomenclature Chronologique des Eveques do Rome, Dedicated to Urban V, Translator-- Richard Ince, 1362

Petrarch, Title unknown, Venice, Italy, Poetry exalting the Popes, included Joan, 1374

Boccaccio, Decameron, In his study of famous women, De Claris Mulieribus, selected Joan to praise, 1375

John Lydgate, Benedictine Monk and associate of Chaucer, Falls of Princes, Joan included, 1430

Martinus Minorita, Herrmannus Januensis, and Herrmannus Gigas,  Flores Temporum, 1290

John Huss, In his defense at the council of Constance, 1413, He tried to show that the Church can survive without a Pope by referring to the two years and five months "Joan occupied the see of Rome."

Bartholomew Platina, Vatican Librarian,  Lives of the Popes, He included Joan, but he complained about it.  This seems to be the first descent at keeping her memory, 1484

Caesar Baronius, Confessor to Pope Clement VIII, Vatican Librarian, His writings,  He rejected a Protestant history of the church which included Joan.  He claimed that she was neither male nor female, but she was thrown out of hell to bring upright piano in the Church.  1607

Alexander Cooke, Colloquy between a papist and a Protestant,  Defended  Joan's reign, 1610

Father Phillippe Labbe, Collection Generale des Conciles, Claimed that Joan was invented by Huss, Wickliffe, Luther, and Calvin.  Martin of Troppau had written his account of Joan one hundred years previous to those Reformers! 1670

From this point onpiano coversd, the Pope's historians and any good Catholic writer tried to sponge Joan out of history:

Various approaches were used, from claiming that she was a demon, to, she was a satire invented to mock a Pope, to outright denial of the accounts of history.  The masterful piano help on Joan's existence was launched by:

Father Johann Joseph Ignaz Von Dollinger,  Papstfabeln des Mittelalters, Papist Fables of the Middle Ages, 1863.  He concluded that Joan was the result of ancient local folk lore in the area of Rome.  He dedicated much of his life to destroy the story of Joan.  Why?  Possibly because Joan was said by some historians to be German, and Dollinger took that a bit personally.    

The inscription on the statue of Joan, which early Papists saw as no problem, on the way to the Lateran Chapel, had the inscription, P.P.P.P.P.P.  This was so heavy on the historic memory in the 1600s and 1700s that it became a great debate.  The early Catholic chronicler, Jean de Mailly, said it stood for, "Patre pater patrum papissae prodito partum."  The cryptic use of six "P"s implies that there is a hidden meaning, or that the meaning should be concealed from ordinary folks.  The meaning in Latin is clearly that a female Pope gave birth at that point.  

That this is possible is very obvious when it is learned that no Pope for many centuries thereafter would pass that way to do Mass at the Lateran.  Also the "groping chair" was known history in many of the above bibliography entries, and it did not exist until after Joan's tenure.  Dollinger, who dedicated much of his career to destroying Joan's memory, admits that there were in fact TWO groping chairs.  Modern Catholic authorities simply assume that Joan did not exist.  They have NO way to explain where the two years and five months went, and they give no explanation for the early historians and their bold belief in Joan the Pope.

Do you suppose John Paul II is a queen bee in disguise?  The feminist movement ought to consider Joan as a candidate to be exalted.  Perhaps Joan could be canonised and become the saint of un-wed mothers.

There you are.  That should give some research digger a start.  The trick will be to confirm the early reports.   No doubt, most of the documents are buried in the Vatican basement, but the truth has a way of getting out.  Let me hear from anyone who has any material on this subject.  I am working on a pre-supposition of course.  I believe the story.  It sounds just like the kind of filthy vomit that Mother Whore was belching out on the world during the Dark Ages.  In fact, it is not nearly the worst news to come out of Rome since it turned "Holy."  Try reading the Shepherd of Hermas if you think Joan's story was racy.

BACK TO THE TITLE PAGE

spchk