By Pastor Steve Van Nattan

Here is a joke that I received recently in E-Mail.  I do not give you this to amuse you--  This is here to show you the problem we are discussing.  This joke was not passed on by an Atheist or God hater.  It was sent to me by a brother who also sends some of the most useful material I receive from friends.  Thus....

A blipish kid was doing terrible in school.  He had flunked and changed schools several times, and the parents were running out of options.  So in desperation, the boy's parents put him in a Christian School.  To their amazement, the blipish boy did fantastic.  Math, which was his worst subject previously, became his best subject.  He was getting straight "As".  

Finally, the parents could not contain their curiosity.  They told him they had to know why he did so well in a Christian School.

He told them, "The first day I walked into my math class, I saw this picture on the wall of a "plus" sign.  And when I saw this guy with bad grades hanging on the plus sign dying, I decided right there that I better get very good grades."

Now, someone will say, "Look, that could actually happen."

So what, my dear Christian jerk?  If it did happen, it would not be funny.  For one thing, the school involved would be Roman Catholic, and the crucifix is a blasphemous attempt to keep Jesus dead while they exalt Mary.  Also, if such a thing happened, the teacher would have a great opportunity to tell the kid the Gospel and let him know the picture had nothing to do with math.

I don't understand it, but I have been receiving piles of trashy jokes about Jesus, Peter, heaven, and all sorts of perversions of the Bible and its teachings.  I am also convinced this is the result of the lightweight approach to holiness we now find in the Charismatic movement and some Fundamentalists.  Holy laughter and other manifestations have bred followers who think joking about  the Godhead and the Word of God is OK.  Their pastors lead them in this.  One noted evangelist from South Africa makes cheap jokes about all things Christian in his performances.  Thus the saints feel free to make foolishness of the things of God and His Church.

Ephesians 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

Proverbs 26:12 Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him. 19 So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?

Proverbs 10:23 It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Psalm 103:1 Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

1 Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

Some folks think that a big loud jesting mouth is the mark of a great person.  This kind of fool is a big pain in the posterior to the Godly.  They are always hanging around waiting for the spiritual and God honoring conversation to lull so that they can tell their latest Peter-at-the-pearly-gates joke.  Bah!  Get out of my life you sleazy creep.

Also, I don't understand these leaders who plan a preaching conference, and then they make sure that a Bible toting comedian is included.  They say it is for, "Comic relief."  Well I want to know where in the New Testament Jesus, Peter, Paul, or any other man of God provided comic relief.  This is a play to amuse the saints.  

AMUSE-  A-Muse-  Against thinking.

Check it out.  There is NO amusement in Jesus, nor is there in any of the 66 books of the Bible.  God expects his saints to be quite content with straight forpiano coversd fellowship and sound teaching.  Any time the saints seem to get overloaded with good things, the solution is to SING Psalms and spiritual songs.  Anything else is mongrel Christianity.

There are these one liners which don't seem so bad.  They are a play on words in the Bible.  They are cheap trash.  I give you another example so that you won't be able to say you didn't understand--  I shall give two...

Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?  Answer:  Mrs. Noah sat on the deck.

The shortest man in the Bible was the Centurion-- He slept on his watch.

This kind of humor would NEVER be found in Mecca.  Indeed, a number of pagan godless religions are far more reverent than most of you alleged Christians.  You may think this sort of stuff proves your liberty-- liberty to trash the Word of God in Trivia.  WRONG--  You are simply showing how little you really respect and love the Bible and the great truths God has handed you.  Do you truly think you will run around heaven telling these cheap jokes?  If so, you are damned to hell.  How could you see the saints in the Glory making jokes at the foot of God's throne, AND at His expense?  You are not born again, and that is your problem.

1 Timothy 3:8 Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

1 Timothy 3:11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

How can a leader in the Lord's Church be a jokster and prankster?  Not possible, and any so-called evangelist who goes from church to hog pen doing comedian performances, interspersed with the Gospel, is NOT a pastor or elder-- He is a pig.  Interestingly enough, these boys are almost always 300 pounds and up in weight.  They are God's slobs, and God doesn't need any.

This is NOT a problem of only the Charismatics.  I find this laugh-in-God's-face "ministry" in some of the best Fundamental, KJV Only, Bible Baptist churches.  BAH!  You babies.  You are so sure of your narrow position, and then, "Ha Ha Ha, let's have a good laugh on God."



Jeremiah 25:27 Therefore thou shalt say unto them, Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of blip; Drink ye, and be drunken, and spue, and fall, and rise no more, because of the sword which I will send among you.

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukepiano coversm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

"Oh my," you say, "That is only for the Laodiceans, not us Fundamental Bible believers."

Oh?  So, I gather that you don't think it is possible to be KJV Only, Baptist, Old line Pentecostal, narrow on personal standards, AND to be Laodicean.  Think again.  

Who would the devil's favorite person be?  

Answer--  A person just like you, but who makes jokes of God and His holy things.  In fact, I think one of the hallmarks of the End Times Church is that it just couldn't get serious about the Truth.  Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

What a blessing you are to Satan.  You, indeed, may be part of God's vomit.  How could you be born again?  Who would EVER take you seriously in the world?  How could you win souls with your Johnny Carson Christianity?  I know Catholic priests who would not think of making such jokes of the holy things.  Many do, to be sure, but I have met a number of priests who would just walk away if I started that.

GET RIGHT!  Or Get Left!

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

It is loving and making a lie to say you love and reverence God and His Word, and then you mock God and His Word as a funny book.  

I am 1000% bigoted on this one.  You may well feel the need to write a letter of repentance.  
Feel free--  I would be happy to read that.

Did you hear the one about the preacher who made jokes about the Bible and God's holiness?
He went to hell and burned forever.
What's wrong?  No one is laughing.  


Dear Brother Steve,

Just a thank you for that article in the headlines section about so -called christian humor. I feel the same way and this will be a perfect way to pass this thought along to others. So many friends send this kind of stuff and think it's perfectly harmless. I was on an email list where they were doing this regularly and I brought up the same scriptures and they booted me off as a heretic! Again, thanks. Keep posting this kind of thing to your website. Some people really need to wake up.

In Christ,