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WE HAVE A REPORT OF
ALIENS SEEN IN TENNESSEE

These two alien creatures were seen at a farm in Tennessee in the United States.  They refused to come nearer, and the observers felt that there was some relationship between the creatures and the fence which seemed to actually prevent their approach.  When observers tried to communicate with the creatures, the aliens simply made unintelligible sounds not unlike a person groaning or grumbling.  We would like you readers to let us know if you have any further information on theses creatures based on your experience in this area.  Are these possibly Yannis or Greys?



August 26, 1998
We believe we have learned the identity of the above creatures:

We have learned from reliable sources that literally hundreds of thoBlipnds of these creatures are prowling the earth.  They seem to favor out  of the way places.  They have been also seen eating various green growth in pastures and in meadow lands.  There is no record of the creatures really being dangerous, though they have been known to bite and kick in self-defense.  Otherwise, the creatures seem to present themselves in a rather friendly manner to earthlings.  

The greatest concentration of these creatures is in Africa, especially in Ethiopia where people follow them through town beating them with a stick and yelling,
"Meungud, Meungud."

A special message was transmitted regarding the creatures a good number of years ago which would have told us the earth was to be inundated with these creatures.  But, few if any people were alert enough to decipher the encoded message.  This message was released in Nashville, Tennessee, and we now give it to you.  One word is missing, so this may be the key to understanding the creatures identity.

Here is the secret message as it was originally transmitted:

I've got the milk 'em in the morning, feed 'em;
Milk 'em in the evening blues.
This old barnyard heifer,
Ain't worth the cud that she chews.
"You put your foot in the bucket,
Kicked over the stool;
Someday I'm gonna trade you for a bluenosed _________;"
I've got the milk 'em in the morning, feed 'em;
Milk 'em in the evening blues.
***
Milk 'em [da da da daaaaa]

In the eeeevning bluuuuuuues

We are very certain that the creature mentioned on the blank line is the clue to identifying the two creatures above.  We are told the ascended masters originally channelled this coded message down to us through Tennessee Ernie Ford.  The embedded music is also a secret clue to the identity of the creatures.  

You might also be interested to know that your editor has had personal contact with these creatures.  In the Ozarks above Siloam Springs, Arkansas, one of these creatures carried me on its back for several hours.  I know that this sounds very hard to believe, and I shall be misunderstood and mocked for being so sure of my experiences, but this is the price one has to pay to spread the truth to the masses.

And remember-- You heard it first on Balaam's Ass Speaks.